Ok, I'm getting a bit cynical on this whole Brexit debate...
Once upon a time there was a family that happened to run a country.
"Let's go for a walk along the north bank of the river. It's just down the road," said David.
"No", said Boris, "Let's cross the river and go for a walk along the south bank."
"I insist we compromise," said Theresa, "and walk down the middle."
Two years later, having discovered that the compromise plan did not involve walking on top of the water after all, the country looked bemusedly at the assorted wetsuits, oxygen tanks, and weighted shoes they were being asked to wear to keep themselves on the firm bed of the river for their walk.
"Theresa," piped up one from the back, "I'm wondering if this might not be the best idea? I don't even have a diving mask and won't be able to see underwater."
"Oh for goodness sakes," replied Theresa. "You said you wanted to go for a walk, so we're going. Stop shilly-shallying, jump in, and I promise Michel will turn on your oxygen tank after you're underwater."
Tuesday 26 March 2019
Friday 22 March 2019
The Pogo Stick Strategy and other stories
This isn't meant to take a position on whether the UK should remain or leave (I live in Australia - it's pretty easy for me to say remain), or the merits of Brighton versus Skegness. More of a fable about political shenanigans that can run the debate off the road.
Once upon a time, there was an office outing. Some people in the office wanted to go to Brighton, and some people wanted to go to Skegness. The manager said he really doesn't like Brighton, but he'll put it to a vote. He lost and said he couldn't really organise a trip somewhere he doesn't want to go.
"Who's going to lead us to Brighton?" the office staff asked. The Skegnessers scowled across the room at the Brightonites, still angry at the tone they'd taken in the debate.
"I'll lead us to Brighton," said one of the directors, who'd originally wanted to go to Skegness, "so long as you let me decide how we get there." The office murmured a bit, but as it sounded like a good compromise to let her lead them to Brighton they agreed.
"Right," said the director, pulling out a bullwhip and opening a cupboard. "Everyone take a pogo stick and lets get hopping down the road. No arguments at the back."
Two miles down the road, amidst a crowd of scraped knees, twisted ankles, and battered pogo sticks, one office staff member turns to the other and says "I told you going to Brighton was a bad idea."
Once upon a time, there was an office outing. Some people in the office wanted to go to Brighton, and some people wanted to go to Skegness. The manager said he really doesn't like Brighton, but he'll put it to a vote. He lost and said he couldn't really organise a trip somewhere he doesn't want to go.
"Who's going to lead us to Brighton?" the office staff asked. The Skegnessers scowled across the room at the Brightonites, still angry at the tone they'd taken in the debate.
"I'll lead us to Brighton," said one of the directors, who'd originally wanted to go to Skegness, "so long as you let me decide how we get there." The office murmured a bit, but as it sounded like a good compromise to let her lead them to Brighton they agreed.
"Right," said the director, pulling out a bullwhip and opening a cupboard. "Everyone take a pogo stick and lets get hopping down the road. No arguments at the back."
Two miles down the road, amidst a crowd of scraped knees, twisted ankles, and battered pogo sticks, one office staff member turns to the other and says "I told you going to Brighton was a bad idea."
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